me ear hurt

My ear hurts. Started this morning. I worked and helped as usual. I thought it might go away. It didn't. Now that I'm going to bed it feels a little worse by the minute.

I'll have some tea then, sleep.

I don't have anything to say beyond that. Good night. 

Failure. The way to success.

 We usually hold a meeting on Monday mornings.  We talk about work, ideas and what we want to do.

I also enjoy bringing something to talk about.  Today we talk about a subject dear to my heart.  Failure.  

We all are born failures.  I think if the human race judged itself by success.  We wouldn't exist.  We fail more times than we succeed.  Thank the gods for our lack of literal sense on that.

The points I brought to the 5 minute talk were the following:

How do you define success?

Success is the outcome of failures.  If you have the right mindset.

When you're kid, you don't think about success.  You think about doing and a lot of times what you plan in your kid head don't come out right.  There's a lot of modifications.

However, when we are older we tend to see failure as a negative outcome.  Is it negative?  Sure, there's consequences.  Did you learn anything from it?  And in the learning, what have you gained?

At the end of the day, you either see failure as a learning experience with a good or bad attitude.  Probably helps to have a good attitude.

Be happy with the learning you gain from Failure.  Apply what you learn.  Success, if you survive is attracted by the learning you've done.

Additional notes not spoken at the meeting:

Failure is a constant in a human.  That's how we survive or don't in some cases.  It is the basis for success.

Failure does not define you.  It helps sculpt your character, your wisdom thanks the innovative force of your brain when used with the learning and applying.

A student of life is not afraid of failure.  Be excited, like a child to continue learning and growing.  Will there be pain, crying and complaining.  Certainly.  It is part of the human experiment.

Choose the Light

We all have our demons.  Sure.  Whatever you want to call them.  Either way, you either face them or you don't.  It don't matter really.  Why?  Because it is your life.  You decide you want to be miserable or happy.  There's no other way around.

Sure, chronic pain, some other things going that make you question existence, sure, there is all kinds.  However, here you are.  So, either keep moving forward or not.  That's your decision.

Everyday I choose the light.  A ritual of sorts.  My demons are always ready to go.  So, I make a commitment to choose the light.  Everyday.  That helps me focus on what and how I'm going to operate during the day.  A mission statement on the go.

The idea that a person is just going to one day stop fucking up and start having some discipline well, that takes quite a bit of effort.  So, better to start with baby steps.

Some people make their beds, some get up and take a cold shower and others like me, make a commitment to serve.  We choose the light.

Build on it.  Once you start seeing yourself as an agent of the light then, you start asking yourself what are you doing with your life?  Does it reflect what you're committing to being?

Other questions that a mind seeking discipline and growth might ask:

Who am I?

What's my purpose?

Am I living to my purpose, honor, values?

That should wake up the brain to think about ... what the hell is honor?  Do I have a purpose?  Have I ever thought about having a purpose besides getting up, going to work, complaining about the commute, the work and whatever else.

In other words, one small seed growing in a good brain can become a mighty tree of thought, purpose, feelings and emotions.  In time.  Patience. Breathe.

You are here for a reason no matter what some say.  You are.  You matter.  Your choices matter.  

Yesterday choices well, you get to live with the consequences of those past choices.  

Today is a brand new day to stop to think, to slow the steam roller, to calculate, to choose differently.

How many good choices can you make in a day?  I don't know.  Why not challenge yourself to think first.

what are you willing to do?

Be honest with your wants. Specifically with what you want to do.

Write down what you want to do.

Do it in small portions. Even a small all shift over time will be encouraging.

Have a winning attitude.

The only way to conquer the world is to conquer in your mind.

Event if it feels hopeless. Do a little. Celebrate the small victories/achievements. Be encouraging to yourself. 

Revolutions

 I get angry.

I speak sharply.

I do something stupid.

---

 I get angry.

I speak sharply.

I do something stupid.

A friend talks to me and asks why not question meself with the basics:  Why am I upset?  Is there a better way?  What should I do next time?

----

I get angry.

I speak sharply.

I do something stupid.

I roughly ask the basic questions.

I ruminate.

----

I get angry.

I speak sharply.

I do something stupid.

I roughly ask the basic questions.

I ruminate.

----

I get angry.

I speak sharply.

I avoid confrontation.

I surprise meself.

I have taken action and it feels good.

I apologize.

----

Little bit by little bit we become better.  Allow your brain to help you. (I had good friends along the way that talked straight up.  They was a good fertilizer to my growing mind.)

Mercy for yourself

 

Today was a long day.  Sometimes it feels that way.  The ponies were fed along with the chickens and the other critters.

The above reminds me of how one minute we can be cool and collected and the next we're raging.  It happens.  The idea here is to think why and what causes our outrage or emotional turmoil.  Always an adventure when one starts looking in.

Remember, have some mercy for yourself as you have for others.  That's the way to understanding.  Time to go to sleep.

Grief

 

Sometimes it is good to take a breather.  I don't know if I believe in vacations.  Why would you go on a vacation if you are living according to your way of life?  I don't know.  Maybe you want to explore or whatever.  I enjoy my way of life so, exploring is good, I'll admit, once in a while.

Everyday is an exploration day at the Ranch.  You explore thoughts, feelings, emotions, occurrences, situations.  There's never a dull moment.  The mind is a universe in itself.

Today I ended up taking a nap on this bluff.  So, I didn't explore much.  Maybe my mind was done working out.

A part of the day was tough.  One of our ponies joined the big herd in the sky.  It is never easy.  It doesn't get easier.  I did explore the feelings associated with loss.

Grief.  What is grief.  A hole.  A darkness.  An emptiness.  Who knows.  We all know it don't feel right.  Best to keep quiet when others are grieving instead of some dumb ass comment.  That's all I got on that.

Day 2 is done.